我的快乐 - my happiness

徘了徊了走了 错了过了等了
walked to & fro, waited & missed

累了倦了困了 烦了乱的冷的
tired, annoyed, confused & cold

都是真的
this is all true

疯了想了念了 不安的焦虑的
been crazy, thought about it, ranted about it; been uneasy & anxious

复杂的梦过的 拥有的失去的
the complicated, the dreamt of, the once-owned, the lost

怎么忘呢
how do i forget them?

你坐过的沙发 宽了
the sofa you had once sat on, became wider

你爱的音乐 停了
the music you loved, stopped

我等着你等成了摆设
i waited for you till i turned into a decorative display

我的你的他的 好的坏的难的
mine, yours, hers; the good, the bad, the difficult

灰的蓝的黄的 酸的甜的苦的
the grey, the blue, the yellow; the sour, the sweet, the bitter

都还记得
i can all remember

非常想要忘的 绝对不能忘的
the things i want to forget very much, the things i must never forget

我想要还你了 真的不想要了
i want to give all these back to you, i dont want all of these

只得放了
i can only let go

环岛的火车载着我第几天了
for how many days have i been on this train that goes around the island?

忽然发现这一刻我不想你了
i suddenly found that at this moment, i don't miss you

我的快乐
my happiness

会回来的
will come back

只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻
as long as i know how deeply i've loved before

不准问值不值得
don't ask if it's worthy or not

我的快乐
my happiness

会回来的
will come back

离开不是谁给了谁的选择
leaving is not an option that anybody gives to anyone

我的你的他的 好的坏的难的
mine, yours, hers; the good, the bad, the difficult

灰的蓝的黄的 酸的甜的苦的
the grey, the blue, the yellow; the sour, the sweet, the bitter

都还记得
i can all remember

非常想要忘的 绝对不能忘的
the things i want to forget very much, the things i must never forget

我想要还你了 真的不想要了
i want to give all these back to you, i dont want all of these

只得放了
i can only let go

放了
let go

忘了
forget.

回到过去

回到过去
张震岳 & 林芯仪

时间它像是河流 慢慢的轻轻推送
time, it's just like a river; slowly & gently pushing along

有时候像是漩涡 很难静止而不动
sometimes it's just like a whirlpool, it's hard to calm it & make it stop moving

开心的 伤心的
the happy times, the sad times,

一辈子 能改变什麼 能相信什麼
in my whole life, what can it change? what can i believe in?

游走在梦的尽头 也常常不时回首
wandering at the ends of my dreams, sometimes i can't help but look back

人与人擦身交错 谁停留谁又远走
the brushing past of one another's shoulders, who stays & who walks far away?

我曾经 犯的错
the mistakes that i have once made

我曾经 留下的遗憾 就让它去吧
the regrets that i have once left behind, just let them go...


如果想要回到那过去
if you want to go back to that past

但是你我之间存在遥远的距离
but there exists a far distance between you and me

试图去弥补破碎的缝隙
trying to make up for all the cracks in those that were broken

我学著不放弃
i've learnt not to give up

愿你牢记我曾经爱过你
i wish you'll always remember that i've once loved you

因为有你我才学会相信爱情
it was because of you that i learnt how to believe in love

关于过去的事就藏心底
about those things in the past, just bury them in our hearts

未来依旧有你的回忆
there will still be memories of you in my future

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nice song :)

sing songs~

sigh.

i think i have been taking more initiative & become more "automatic" this sem... i always complete my assignment on time or start them earlier(as compared to previous years/sems), yet there's still so much work piling up.

i think singing on saturday night is like a ting an tradition... haha. because i stay in hostel during the weekdays, i can't sing as much X( haha i guess my house rules are quite flexible. i can watch tv/sing during the weekdays provided i finish my work! haha!

i'm thinking of joining the boarding concert thing... so i decided maybe i should try out more songs tonight to choose from. so i did this slow song fast song slow song fast song alternating thingy. here's my list of songs i sang! hope i remembered them correctly!

1. 我不是你想象的那么勇敢 - rachel liang wen yin #
2. C大调 - angela zhang shao han
3. 是非题 - fan fan #
4. 庆祝 - rainie yang
5. 下一个天亮 - claire kuo ^^
6. 爱你 - cyndi wang
7. 心动 - shino lin ^^
8. 触电 - S.H.E. !
9. 当你 - cyndi wang
10. 99次我爱他 - shorty yuen
11. 三个字 - ethan ruan/qiaoqiao
12. 你快乐我随意 - S.H.E. !
13. 可以不爱了 - rachel liang wen yin # !
14. 薄荷与指甲剪 - rachel liang wen yin
15. 最幸福的事 - rachel liang wen yin # ^^ !
16. 小手拉大手 - fish leong
17. 牵手 - su rui ^^

ok... let me do some analysis xD

i'll mark those difficult songs which make my voice crack real easily, or make me unable to control the deep parts easily, with a... "#"!

so if i wanna choose these songs, i gotta PRACTISE real hard(low parts esp.). or lower the key lah x)

for those i really enjoyed singing today, hitting the high notes accurately & expressively... i'll put a... "^^"! actually for no. 15 for the first 2 choruses i sang them quite well, but verses' low parts are very unstable... & the last chorus when she lifted a key, broken voice allllll the way -.- really horrible. still, i like the front part so i'll put a "^^" for it ^^

other songs which are challenging & i really wanna improve more to sing these perfectly... i'll put a... "!" !

ok... the last one is an old song... but i really like it. i heard rachel(aijia)'s rendition of it... that's why i decided to try the song out. & i think it sounds reallllllllllly good!

haha... well, singing session & analysis session over. i think i should sleep soon & i'll ask fei about boarding concert stuff later X)

:) "new" friends!

:)

怎么可以这样 笑容打败太阳 甚至比我还要更好看？？

虽然无力抵挡 但是日子还长 总有一天换你为我疯狂~~

LOL. does NOT reflect my life!!! just really nice & cheerful lyrics!

a facebook thing

On this day of your life, Chen, we believe God wants you to know...
... that to find out who you are becoming find stories that move your heart.


Just like a seed has an image of the tree in it, so does your heart have an image of who you are becoming. Look for stories in movies and books that resonate in your heart, and you will find glimpses of your possible futures. What is your favorite story?

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one story i felt really resonated in my heart, is Fated To Love You.

i am not sure what it's meant by resonating in the heart, maybe it means i can totally understand the character's feelings? her motives, her thoughts etc. really? is that resonance?

what if i say i can understand how the bad characters in some stories feel, are they glimpses of my possible futures?

sigh. i hope not man. but they don't really resonate that strongly as FTLY.

in FTLY, the lead character, is probably a glimpse of my future. i hope.

her name is Chen Xin Yi. since young, she has been given impressions that she is unwanted & extra. that's because her mom conceived her by accident, & showed very obvious bias towards her sisters rather than her. however, she would tell her mom tt she was born to lighten her burdens & worries. :)

in the office, she is known as the post-it girl. she is someone who tries to please everybody & is afraid of offending other people. therefore, she doesn't really have her own opinions, & maybe doesn't have her own personality. her way of pleasing other people is to help them in little chores like buying lunch/coffee, photocopying documents, replacing them to work OT et cetera. they just have to put a little post-it on her shirt(because she is too busy) & she will do it for sure. she thought that this is the way to let people like her, & she believed it when people tell her she photocopies things very fast, she brews really nice coffee... & so she kept on helping them.

when actually they were just making use of her to do their daily chores T.T

one day, she accidentally slept with a stranger, whom she thought was her boyfriend(who was cheating on her). she became pregnant & married the stranger(Ji Cun Xi), because his grandmother wanted a great-grandson very badly, afraid of the curse that caused their family to have only one son for 9 generations.

however, cunxi had a girlfriend already, but she went to NY to pursue her career in ballet, and told him to wait for her for another 2 years. cunxi didn't want to marry chen xin yi, so without his grandmother's knowledge, he made chen xin yi sign a divorce agreement, forcing her to get out of the family after she gives birth to the baby. in return, he would give her a huge sum of money. however, chen xin yi told him, "i'm helping you not because of the money. i just want you to keep your promise not to hurt our islanders."

to be continued...

life

hello to the public. today, let me bend a little of my own principles & openly blog an emo, reflective post.

sometimes life is realllllllly like medicine.

look at the cancer patients. they have tumours(for most cancers). the best way of cure is to undergo surgery. however, that depends on whether the tumour is resectable or not.

when the tumour isn't resectable, the patient undergoes chemotherapy first to kill off the tumour cells & make the tumour more suitable for resection.

even IF the tumour is resectable, if there is a tumour spillage during the operation, the cancer cells will just multiply again in other parts of the body to form other tumours.

even IF there's no tumour spillage, you can't make sure you've removed all the residue tumour, & they may just spread(called metastasis) and form tumours in other organs/tissues.

you gotta undergo chemotherapy.

hairloss. vomitus. etc.

i am now going to blog about how all these are related to life. in CHINESE. if you don't want to read, please do NOT read on.

生活中的问题就好像这些肿瘤。有时候还满小的，可以很容易切除。(tumour resectability isn't based on size btw)切除了有时候可能不需要进行化疗，有时候需要一点点，都无关紧要。

有时候真的很难切除...需要进行化疗。心痛、眼泪、失落感、挫折感、失去自信，统统都是这个“化疗”的副作用。

终于，可以切除了。要动手术切除这个“肿瘤”可不是一件简单的事。必须鼓起勇气，很大很大的勇气。

好了！手术成功！心情比以往好很多。这个可以维持很久。但是，病情好像又发作了。一定要吃药！

www.youtube.com/nigahiga

Dry Your Eyes

当你又等待另一天就这样过去
while you're waiting again, another day has just passed like that

夜里又醒来觉得被全世界遗弃
you wake up in the night again, feeling abandoned by the whole world

当你不明白为何爱会突然离去
when you don't understand why love has suddenly left

沉默的呐喊听见的却只有自己
amidst the silent shoutings, you can hear only yourself

而当某天某人陪着曾是你的爱
your love was on a certain day when a certain someone was with you

一种莫名的痛蓦然侵入揉碎你的心
a nameless feeling of pain suddenly invades your heart and mashes your heart into bits & pieces

Baby dry your eyes虽然爱情让你哭
Baby dry your eyes, even though love makes you cry

也还放不开已经失去的幸福
even though you can't let go of the lost happiness

没有了期待 却突然更明白
having no more expectations, but suddenly becoming enlightened

眼前还有必须继续的未来
there is still a future to continue in front of your eyes

Baby dry your eyes纵然爱情真的苦
Baby dry your eyes, although love is really hard

心中的悲哀相信有天会结束
i believe the sorrow in your heart will end some day

没有了依赖却看得更明白
you've got no one to rely on now, yet you can see clearer

已经太疲惫的自己还是要坚强的自己
even though you are too tired, you must still be strong

如此脆弱却又真实的存在
so fragile yet tangibly existing

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another set of lyrics from my currently favourite album: rachel liang wen yin's Love Poems. :) she's really a great singer!

sometimes i don't think we can ever completely recover from the hurts we have experienced. i think there will still be times(i think i'm sure) when you will sit up on your bed in the wee hours of the night & let your teardrops roll down your pretty face.

Dry Your Eyes.

the many heartbreaking stories you experience. you may not be able to forget them. let nature take its course. you probably don't have to forget. they can be nutrients in your works in the future. they can enrich your singing/drawings/way of life.